Ouch! Ouch!

That’s how I like them…nice, smooth & clean shaven

Hair removal for women is not a walk in the park there are so many promises of pain free hair removal, but nah who are we kidding when we say it’s not sore. 
My under arm has been waxed since my late teens so it’s used to it by now. But the brazilian?!!
I have to do it, I have adopted that motto “good girls wax floors, bad girls wax their bikini line or they do a brazilian.” When that first RRRIP comes…you try to stay calm, conscience and breathe, you pant and hold your breath for the next big RRRIP!!
The funny thing is my lady (I call her Inga, it sounds large and mean and nasty but her real name is Linda and she is actually petit) she keeps saying it’s not sore, the worst is over. Ya right! Ya think!? Come here let me do yours.
Why I endure this pain repeatedly I don’t know.
I’m a real hair fighting champion so I keep going back, what a winner!  The truth is I really hate beards and hairy men (and women). The kind that shave all the way to their collar bones, the ones that have to wear long sleeves and it creeps from under the shirt cuff, or the ones that have these carpets on their back.  Yuk, I’m cringing at the thought, honestly.
So when the boys were old enough to understand, since about five or maybe two 🙂 I have been telling them ‘if you are hairy when you grow up you’ll be going for a wax.’  It’s that simple. And in the days of fashionable, modern men that have manicures and facials and wear pink and they still manage look mucho – what’s a wax? It’s just a another thing they have to do to look good.  Sportsmen also wax or do whatever it takes to remove hair for the sake of sports…
So where am I going with all of this? 
Poor poor Tigs, he has more than he needs and I’ve kind of been hoping that he’d grow into it.  He cycles and has been toying with the idea of shaving.  I’ve been tempting him to wax (better option). I won the battle today!  We went for our first wax!
Men are tough, they can hunt, shoot, build and chop, they go for tattoos  – but they are sissies on that bed. My poor child was not cut out for it. Inga was immune to his moans, a ruthless perfectionist making sure every single hair was removed.
Tigs yelped, had a seizure, was shaking, terror in his eyes, foaming and pinching me. He groaned in different languages and his voice changed a few times. 
He has PTSD = Post-Traumatic Stress DisorderHe came home with some kind of tic!

I know that if he does this a few more times it will weaken the hair and lessen it a bit, making him less hairy.  But I have a feeling he won’t be going back anytime soon, his memory will not allow it.
And then what am I and Inga going to do for fun? Oh I suppose we will go back to me and my brazilian.

He won’t allow me to facebook about this experience but he doesn’t know I’m blogging about it, it’s my revenge, for those sleepless nights he gave me when he was just a baby…ha ha. He says he looks like a girl, people are stupid if they keep going back to do this, I think it looks clean and he has awesome legs, good muscle definition, but I am a bit biased….

Men need to feel a bit of pain once in their lives. It’s good for them, builds character. 
Now what can I do to Moo so they are equal? 
I’m feeling a bit like an evil mom today…but that won’t last long, it too shall pass.

1 thought on “Ouch! Ouch!

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