A love letter to my pet hate

Day 8 – A love letter to my pet hate – @Writersbootcmp

 

Dear human

Please close your mouth when you chew. I don’t want to see that mashed up stuff, it’s so gross.

Please don’t talk when your mouth is full of food. When you start a phone call – put that food down!!! I can’t understand anything you say and it’s a disgusting sound.

Please don’t chew like a cow or goat. You are human, eat like one, only cows chew the cud.

I also like gum but I don’t need to let the world know when I have some in my mouth. Please keep your mouth shut when chewing.

This has nothing to do with culture. It’s called manners.

Please don’t sniff. Use tissues, blow your nose take something to dry it up for goodness sake.

And please, I’m begging you don’t grunt or snort your phlegm. Seriously!! That is the most gross thing ever, what’s wrong with you? Stop eating dairy or whatever is creating that, take medicine go see a doctor.

This has nothing to do with culture. It’s called manners.

If you were not born in a stable, do not walk on all fours and your mother does not MOO then there is no need to do any of the above

Thank you kindly

 

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