I filled a glass jar in 2016 !!

Last year I received a new jar from my friend, it was a Christmas gift.  She filled a large jar with homemade cookies and she wrote this on the card:

“This is your gratitude jar for 2016. Empty it this year and in 2016 you have to fill it with thoughts of gratitude…big or small.  So that by the end of 2016 you can reflect and appreciate the awesome year I know you will have!”

jar

For the past two years I have filled a glass jar with little notes of the things or moments I am grateful for. And this year I was going to try to fill my gifted jar with gratitude but actually filled it with some home-baked cookies for the family. I had to find another jar very quickly, and I did, it’s a special one too and I started filling it with everything I am thankful for.

It’s a good feeling, because I tend to remember the negatives too but when I start to write down each special moment I realise just how blessed I am.

It’s also a great feeling when I’m feeling a little down to see so many happy good moments we had as a family.

This year was hard but when I started filling the glass jar I experienced the amazing power of gratitude. The feeling is small, at first, there was only one little piece of paper but then it then gets bigger as the jar gets fuller.

It’s a good way to start the holiday season and wrap up my year I have so much to be grateful for.

Thank you LORD for keeping us safe this year and for keeping me sane…thank you for everything….

In everything give thanks. 1 Thes 5:18

My glass jar is bigger _ 2015

My glass jar _ 2014

It is a serious thing to be alive

It is a serious thing just to be alive on this fresh morning in the broken world  _ Mary Oliver

Not that I need to be reminded of this but sometimes I do need to see it so I don’t forget it. And I’m not going too far into the past just the last couple of months is enough to put things into perspective.

In September last year my uncle passed away, he had the type of cancer that never gave him a fighting chance

In March this year my last surviving grandparent passed away, granny was 90

In April we lost another family member, another uncle. My godfather passed away

Today I was at a funeral of a beautiful lady with the most contagious radiant smile, a senseless brutal crime took her away

Oh add to all of this that I find out a dear friend of mine has cancer?!

At the same time we have been battling with some serious business issues and the light at the end of the tunnel was so far away and everything was so dark…

We have not been sleeping well. I have been worrying way too much and asking God; how much more can I handle? How long before things get better? Every thought was a question with no answer.

At work we are busy packing for a big move. A whole new office and building, now I’m used to these office moves I have worked in this company for 24 years and I’ve lost count how many times we have moved. Sometimes they can be quite a lot of fun!

This one is not more stressful or hard but moving is rated as one of the top 5 most stressful life situations (Death of a loved one, Divorce, Moving, Major Illness, Job Loss)  So things have been pretty hectic lately, I see this move as a new life, a type of cleansing (so much was thrown away) it was a huge spring clean project in the office. Total office madness!

Emotionally exhausted!!

I am just emotionally exhausted and feeling so tired that I get this type of nervous feeling at the bottom of my stomach.

Today I was a mess and moody and definitely hard to handle and to be around. But still some people stay close, they stick around and put up with my shit.

At the church service we heard “be grateful for the gift of life” and “never stop saying I love you” and “live every day to the fullest” and “be happy to be alive”

And so it is, life is so short and untimely things and events leave us with so much pain sometimes.  As I sat in church our little business issue was somehow being resolved…we have a bit of light at the end of the tunnel, things are working out. Let’s see where this takes us.

For now remember this –

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God has not turned His face away and I have felt His love and protection, as hard as these months have been they have also been wonderful. I have so many people to be grateful for so many things to be happy about that all these feelings are almost confusing ♥ life is incredible and every day I am awake is a gift from God!

 

The Road of Resolution

New years resolutions are something I am not good at, even if they are just things I say to myself, like tonight when I get home I will definitely do my filing and catch-up on our finances and accounts at home….. !!

Really that never happens. So why make resolutions that are meant to last a whole year? With that said, I found an old diary in my cupboard that I hardly used, I bought it mainly because of the beautiful cover and quotes insisted. Ah but what a treasure, it is filled with words of wisdom and something called “Godly Resolutions”

So here are some of them, just that I have changed and worded them for me so that they might keep me on the right road with God through out this year

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Relationship ∼ Reafirm my relationship with God !

Review ∼ Look back on the past year and ask God to show me my areas of weaknesses

Repent ∼ Confess my sins and ask for forgiveness

Refresh ∼ Ask God to refresh me and to give me a new vision, He knows the plans He has for me, I just need to accept them

Renew ∼ Ask God to help me see my life from His perspective, and renew my commitment to His vision and purpose for my life

Resolve ∼ Resolve to be faithful to God’s purpose in my life and to glorify Him in the areas that He has revealed to me

Record ∼ Write down the things He has revealed to me in prayer, and review them frequently, remembering that it is only by His grace that I am able to grow in Him

Because He knows and understands each of my needs, it is time for me to start with Relationship this is my road to my 2015 resolutions.

Stay Blessed ♥ and always look upward.

 

Breathe and sigh

10299532_10152364643614350_776736122370803520_nTwo weeks in a row I almost stayed in bed. Just wasn’t feeling up to people, talking and things…

But you know I’m so glad now that I did get up and get out, two Sabbaths filled with abundant blessings. I’m in awe of how some things just fall in place, the people who touch you, the music and the morning’s sermon. It is not coincidence it’s all too perfect to be coincidence.

When your spirit is down and you feel like giving up and like you are so far away from Him. He sends His soft touch in different ways. I am so grateful that I did get up and go to church it is there in some quiet place or moment that God chose to touch me. These verses really awakened something these past two weeks

He counts the number of the stars; He calls them all by name. Psalm 147:4

For as the heavens are high above the earth, So great is His mercy toward those who fear Him. Psalm 103:11

Let the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart Be acceptable in Your sight, O Lord, my strength and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

Give ear to my words, O Lord, consider my meditation. Give heed to the voice of my cry, My King and my God, for to You I will pray. Psalm 5:1-2

Sitting on the outside looking in; this is what I heard and what has touched me. I am glad I did go to church, it was good for the soul and I am happy and at peace. It is here that I can press the panic button, and someone is right at my side. I breathe a sigh of relief and am so grateful for some privileges.

Hope you’ve had a Blessed Sabbath too ♥

My Grandpa

Me and Grandad (July 1989)

Me and Grandad (July 1989)

Last week I received a book from my secret friend (a devotional). And true to myself, never starting a book from the front, I always like to check the back first and make my way to the front, slowly by stopping in the middle…that is normal for me and a magazine. Now with the devotional in hand I went straight from the back to my birthday date. May 31. Just like when I have a new calendar the first month I look at is May, and I always get so excited when I discover that it’s the prettiest picture of the whole calendar 😀

The title on my day is “My Grandpa” and it has such a cute story about a young girl sitting on grandpa’s leg while he taught her to read.

Made me smile and brought back a million memories of a wonderful vegetable garden, orchards with a huge variety of fruit trees, fixing shoes and belts and anything leather, woodwork, the pencil in his ear, his white worn out shirts with rolled up sleeves, that smile and typical family Ferrao nose, his blue eyes. The way he liked his soup, the way he liked bread! The hands that built a house! The way he sat next to the radio listening to the news.

And most of all how when we were small and sometimes teased and annoyed our great-grandmother he would ‘punish’ us by tying our big toe to the leg of the chair with a piece of cotton!! I had that punishment a few times.

That was My Grandpa and the special person that was shared amongst 18 grandchildren.

Feelings of saudade flood my heart, nostalgia and longing for something that was so beautiful and strong – the love of a grandfather.

This is the bible verse for the devotional that brought back this memory ♥

“Children’s children are a crown to the aged, and parents are the pride of their children.”  Proverbs 17:6