Gratitude Jar 2019

Sometimes I wake up and my first thought is I’m tired, I’m going to be late, I hate traffic, I’m hungry. If I don’t get myself out of this, small negativity (as insignificant as it may be) and really fast I spend the rest of the day not feeling good enough.

I moan and swear at traffic on my way to work, I judge people constantly, I don’t feel good enough or good about anything! Not thin enough. Not clever enough. Unnoticed and unappreciated. And the list goes on and on, so does the mood. It’s a horrible circle.

So I get up, I’m tired, might get to work a bit late and hungry but I climb in the car and I pray out loud. I prayed before, but this year I changed things. I started by climbing in the car and talking to God out loud while I drive. I haven’t listened to radio for a long while, because usually when I’m finished talking I then listen to voice notes on my phone or send some out.

My talks always start with gratitude this changes my drive and my whole day. My outlook changes.

Introducing this year’s gratitude jar – it may look small but it’s filled with lots of little notes and with a great amount of gratitude. So many blessings written in them.

Also folding these notes into that origami finger game thingy was so hard!!! I will never do this again 😊 what on earth was I thinking?

And so I will go into 2020 on a positive note, with hope and confidence….

In everything give thanks.  1 Thes 5:18

Why don’t you add a gratitude jar to your habits of well being for next year? I am sure you will love it. I have been doing this since 2014, 2015, 2016, 2017, 2018 ♥ ♥ ♥ 

Looking Back on 2019

What a year this has been!! Some days were low some days were high.

But my God on the mountain, was my God in the valley and when things were going wrong…..I prayed and I know he’ll make them right again.

For most part it was a good year and I am looking forward to a fresh new start in the new 2020 century!

What did you do in 2019 that you’d never done before?

I boxed. Yip I have started boxing. This is huge thing for me

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

No, but then I didn’t make any resolutions at all for this year. Same as last year, it’s better not to make any so I’m not disappointed

How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?

Probably at home, family dinner…early to bed

Did anyone close to you die?

Not anyone really close, thank God for that, but I did go to some funerals this year

What would you like to have in 2020 that you lacked in 2019?

Do a lot more of this –

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:7

I want to do more fun things more me time and little weekend getaways

What date from 2020 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

Ed Sheeran concert and weekend away with my cous! It was glorious!

And on my mom’s birthday, our 4×4 caught fire while parked in the garage! Mayhem perused. Luckily Tigs was home, things could have been a lot worse

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Two jobs, I maintained and performed two different jobs

What was your biggest failure?

I failed as a mom, I think I have…it’s something inside that I struggled with. I keep asking God to forgive me for not being a good example to my kids

Did you suffer illness or injury?

Apart from the usual migraines, nothing new or different. They are less frequent but more painful, gradually getting worse with more nausea and vomiting

What was the best thing you bought?

We bought a car. Tigs had the worst car, he deserved something better, he now has the best car in the household

Where did most of your money go?

Bills, bills, bills.

What song will always remind you of 2019?

Senorita by Shawn Mendes & Camila Cabello and Beautiful by Ed Sheeran

What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had danced more and laughed a whole lot more. More walking and exercising

What do you wish you’d done less of?

Worry. I wish I had worried less and prayed a whole lot more

What were your favorite TV shows?

They did not let me watch TV this year

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I still hate the same person of last year

What was the best book you read?

I read a few novels, mostly on loan from a friend and can’t remember any of the names. Started reading Becoming (M Obama), have not finished yet.

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Worth It by Fifth Harmony…..yeah I actually felt my car bounce to this on full blast it unusually funny. One by U2 was a second likable discovery

What was your favorite film of this year?

Bohemian Rhapsody in late December 2018 and anything I watched this year could not match up to Queen

What did you do on your birthday?

Most awesome family lunch and lots of spoils

What kept you sane?

ART class and my close and special friends

Who do you miss?

My dad

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2019

Sometimes life’s turns are not what we anticipated or planned – “oh, no, this can’t be happening again, what do I do now?”.

Its sudden twists take us on a path we might not like but we always end up where we were supposed to be. God is in control all the time. Pray and have a little faith…♥

May God always grant you a sunbeam to warm you. Happy New 2020.

This has become a must-do-post for me, since Looking Back on 2018, 2017 and 2016. I enjoy reading the old ones too they remind me of how things have changed and how much I have changed over these last three years.

Stick Dinosaurs

Power lines are a bit like stick dinosaurs, don’t you think? I don’t know why I like them, what is it that attracts me, I just know I do like them, a lot!  When we take long drives I always admire the scenery and the elegant looking stick dinosaurs.

I think photographers like them too, it is so easy to find beautiful landscape and sunset photos with one or two power lines dominating the composition of the photo.

Who would think that something that can ruin a perfect landscape composition, or something ugly could be made to look beautiful. We might prefer they were not there….but they do offer a beautiful symmetry in our vast landscapes and I always take a few pics.

This was painted from one of my cell phone photos – a trip down to Cape Town with my boy ♥

I am in it with all my heart

In March I blogged about my new role at work and leap of faith. It was a brave move into the unknown…Know Your Worth

It’s nearly the end of the year and here I am, I’m still in the gallery. I can’t believe I have survived this long. I didn’t doubt myself but somehow, I just thought that I would quietly disappear back into the mundane old self.

I’m still there, I’m still braving this double role (double hating as they call it)

What I have learned so far…a list because I like making lists…

Pros

  • More money – nope not in my case, it’s like two for the price of one. Two jobs one salary
  • Security – definitely, when we could be faced with losing our jobs due to cuts having two is like having a piggy bank
  • Freedom – this role gives me some emotional benefits, sense of belonging, not just being wall paper
  • New skills – yes! I am always learning in both roles, obviously more in the new role as it is all still a bit unfamiliar. But most definitely lots of new skills and learning for me
  • Confidence – in myself, yes! There is that great feeling of accomplishment. I am doing something that will push me further in a space that I love

Cons

  • Time – time flies by quickly and I need more hours to get to just half of my to-do-list. Honestly speaking I never had time when I had just the one role. So, how does that work?
  • Stress – dealing with two completely different jobs and people at the same time can be overwhelming. It’s more overwhelming than stressful. I get to scream, and I can eat a whole packet of chips in the office with no one saying a thing because no one is watching. Which is great!
  • No extra money – nope I don’t get extra money
  • Recognition – waiting….

 

Tips for making it work

  • Protecting both jobs, trying not to let one role intrude on the other one
  • Quality of performance from me the person they know in both roles
  • Regular check-ins with the three bosses
  • Regular catch-ups with the special people in my work life that know the challenges I face and keep me sane ♥

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Potato, potato, ching chong tomato!

How do you answer when someone asks you: “What’s on your mind?” How do you answer when someone is trying to get all deep and philosophical and asks: “But how are you, really?”

I never know what to say and my reply depends on who is asking, why they are asking, and how much time & energy and emotion I want to put into it.

Saying exactly what I mean isn’t something I am good at. Sometimes it’s yes just to please someone else and end my ordeal quickly. Sometimes I say I understand when I really don’t have a clue, but I say it just so I don’t look ignorant. And sometimes I just hold back from saying anything at all.

But there are some very good reasons for not holding back and for actually speaking your mind. You could just get what you want without sounding demanding. If you are being asked maybe it’s a good thing to say what your needs are, you might just end up being happier.

When someone asked me today; “what’s on your mind?” I simply replied potato, potato, ching chong tomato only because that was the last silly thing I had seen on Facebook. This didn’t solve anything but it did make both of us happier. We burst into laughter, the moment broke my frown and we both burst into spontaneous conversation about everything frustrating & annoying at work and also about everything funny & fuzzy in our lives.

So….moral of the story is, if you are going to be real and really say what is on your mind or give some weird answer like potato, potato, ching chong tomato that is ok as long as you end up feeling lighter and happier.

Or you could just say porn – that should stop people from asking!