The eve of the night before your first day at work

I gulped and felt my heart beating in my throat when I took this pic of you….we have a photo on these stairs, the two of us, on the day we left you here, it is one of my favourite photos.

I remember the trip we made in February 2012 and how hard it was to let go. I didn’t want to leave you here alone. I left a young enthusiastic boy and I came back to fetch a young man, full circle for the two of us.

You grew up, you struggled, you became independent, and it all happened so fast for me. I’ve been thinking over the years and more so these lasts few weeks, did I really do a good job as a mom?  Will you remember that I tried my best, even when I was tired exhausted, and stressed and sick, I still tried my best. I prayed sometimes and sometimes I forgot to pray, but I hope you will know that I had every intention of being a good and great mommy.  Although I do know that sometimes I wasn’t so great and I was just an OK mom.

Today is the eve of the night before your first day at work! You have finished your studies and I guess it’s time to adult, I hope you’re ready because I’m certainly not and I don’t have any wise words to pass on to you (sorry). All the milestones and special events of your life that I counted and recorded and photographed have come to an end. Leaps and bounds and so the next ones will be in years to come.

For now let me say that I am so very proud of you. I wish you the best of luck my son, may you be successful and happy in your career and in everything you do

I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13

Your favourite bible verse became my favourite bible verse, guard it close to your heart.

Love MA ♥

Gratitude Jar 2017

I started the year with a positive attitude, this is going to be a better year, I’m not going to have a complete meltdown over big small huge things in my life…..and then it all came tumbling down.

We had some really rough months, huge storms and lots of turbulence, at some stage I thought the plane was going down!!  But look at this, I still have a glass jar this year and so many things to be grateful for, just look at it, it’s beautiful.


It’s four years in a row that I fill a jar and it feels so good to think back and find so many blessings. They always stand out. Just look at this year, WOW!!


And so I end off 2017 with a huge *sigh* and another big Thank You LORD for keeping us safe. Thank you for saving us so many times from so many things that could have turned out badly.  And of course, thank you for keeping me sane in the midst of all the craziness

In everything give thanks. 1 Thes 5:18


My older jars – 2014  2015  2016  ♥ ♥ ♥

Looking back on 2017

What a tough and crazy year this was, looking forward to starting all over again, starting fresh. And I’m praying for a softer and better year! 2018 please be kind.


What did you do in 2017 that you’d never done before?

I went on a bread baking course (artisan breads) yum!

Did you keep your new years’ resolutions, and will you make more for next year?

No, I can’t even remember what it was. But yes I have three resolutions for 2018

How will you be spending New Year’s Eve?

I don’t know yet

Did anyone close to you die?

Yes, sadly a cousin of ours and an old family friend of my dads

What countries did you visit?

None. But visited two new towns in SA that I had never been to – Haenertsburg ♥ and Dundee

What would you like to have in 2018 that you lacked in 2017?

Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you. 1 Peter 5:7

What date from 2017 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?

24th of March and the 6th of May – graduation of both my boys

What was your biggest achievement of the year?

Both my boys graduated ! I’m soooo proud

What was your biggest failure?

I failed my younger son, and I’m heartbroken about it

Did you suffer illness or injury?

A really bad case of migraine that resulted in spending two days in hospital and MRI

What was the best thing you bought?

Hand made leather shoes and a blue shweshwe hand bag

Where did most of your money go?

Bills, bills, bills

What song will always remind you of 2017?

Havana by Camila Cabello

What do you wish you’d done more of?

I wish I had danced more and laughed a whole lot more (same as last year)

What do you wish you’d done less of?

I cried, like a lot

What were your favorite TV shows?

If they let me watch TV at home it’s Big Bang Theory

Do you hate anyone now that you didn’t hate this time last year?

I still hate the same person of last year

What was the best book you read?

Started three haven’t finished any, yeeks….

What was your greatest musical discovery?

Khalid – Young Dumb & Broke

What was your favorite film of this year?

I really enjoyed “Paris can wait”

What did you do on your birthday

I had a surprise birthday party in the office and surprise party with family and friends Spoiled and blessed beyond measure

What kept you sane?

Me time and the chats with my sister and two cousins. We have a whatsapp group and talk to each other almost daily I can’t live with out those chats and laughs

Who did you miss?

My family overseas

Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2016

Life takes some unexpected turns, the hard knocks of life, some practical experiences that include hardships and disappointment but God is in control all the time.

Breathe. Just breathe. Pray and have a little faith…♥

Looking back on 2016

The wave

I find myself staring into empty stretches of the ocean or sky. This stress produced world makes everything urgent and the ocean brings me peace and time for reflexion. It’s like a massive massage but one that makes me feel automatically happier and relaxed.

That is why I ended off this year with another painting of the ocean, a moody sky and a wave. Staring at the ocean or the sky is like poetry and it gives me energy, like a cold splash of water on my face.

The rhythm of the waves lapping on the shore restores body and mind…

I won’t finish it this year, there is still some work to be done on the sky and wave but that’s ok, it just means I will start with the same feeling of peace and tranquility and energised for the New Year. That’s my wave painting ♥

Happiness is…

On our very first trip to Portugal I remember in my granny’s village a little truck that would drive by every morning.  Everyone in the neighborhood would come running out to where the baker stopped and it was like a mini party, lots of talking and gesturing and bread buying.  And then everyone would disappear back inside and I guess there wouldn’t be much conversation going on because they would all eating bread with butter and cheese.

Some pão com queijo and a good cup of coffee with milk.  Even the children ate the same thing (the coffee was not as strong) but breakfast was the same for everyone.

Nostalgia….for me thinking about this. I was reminded of this special time at a bread baking course.  Something really different, unusual and maybe strange for some, but it was something I have been wanting to do for some time.  And with a little nudge from my friend and we both signed up for a full day of bread baking. Listening to the process of bread making, bakers formula and the science behind it; just took me back to that little bread truck.

I never feel full or satisfied until I’ve had that little piece of bread.  For me bread is a main meal, it’s satisfying on its own and with a little butter or jam or a piece of cheese it’s a whole feast.

Learning to make real artisanal bread just brought back so many good feelings and emotions.  Like watching my granddad eating, he used to have a good piece for breakfast and dip it in a huge bowl of sweet coffee with milk, at dinner time it was a huge bowl of soup and bread.  The pieces were broken off with his hands, not cut.  He sat close to the radio listening to the news….I can picture it in my mind when I look at this beautiful loaf I made, I see him and it takes me back to such special memories. It’s a wonderful feeling.



Real love, time, patience, loving hands and watching something grow and voila – a perfect old-fashioned artisan bread.

It’s no wonder God is identified as the bread of life in the bible. (John 6:35)

Some say warm bread feels like a hug, I know it smells like love when it comes out of the oven.  For me happiness is a piece of real bread in your hand ♥


PS: Gluten is such a bummer, I know – but actually artisan bread is easier to digest, because the enzymes have had time to begin breaking down the gluten in the flour while fermenting. And you can take time to savour it too, it tastes better than shop bought. Shop bought is what’s bad for us.