What a year!

What a year this has been.

Possibly one of the worst years of my life, I don’t know if I have said this before about other years, have I?

I know for sure this was the worst one for me.  I remember sometime in October, I saw one journalist comment to his colleagues “what a week!”

That was after four weeks of violent university protests and the start of state capture news and there was something else big going on.  It was crazy hectic.  I know I kept thinking it must be great being a journalist here in SA they don’t know which way to turn, they are so busy, it’s exciting if you work in their industry.  It’s a merry-go-round-of-dizzy.  It was really one of those what a week moments.

I feel like that about this year.

I know that to be sort of balanced in life and healthy we all need to have some kind of balance: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually and financially. So if this is so common and so needed then I am not balanced at all not even in one of them, it’s all just a total mess this year.

I haven’t felt like talking to people.  I have locked myself in the bathroom or in my car countless times crying.

It’s small things but many times it’s the small things that make a BIG difference.
It’s the please wait and be patience feeling and the flower does not bloom in a day thought…but the seeds I thought I had sown are not just taking their time I think they were eaten by a bird.  So I feel quite messy.

Emotionally I’m done, mentally I’m drained, physically I smile. Just smile because I know I have many things to be grateful for even if I’ve been feeling so very blue lately