Today is father’s day and my boys gave their dad this card
Notice the very last sentence – mom didn’t really teach me all that much – 🙂 yes I know it’s funny, but it did get me thinking….
When I started blogging I always thought I had so much to say or write about. The boys were at a school going age and growing up faster than bamboo shoots on steroids.
But then they left school and it was first day of varsity and I blogged about that and about letting go. And then it felt like parenting was over.
It was an emotional time seeing them in university and trying this new thing called “letting go” and I was actually quiet about the boys for a long time, at least on the blog.
They are adults, one will be 23 in a few months’ time and the other one will be 22 at the end of the year! So apart from graduation day, what else have I got to look forward to? What else have I got to say about being a mom? Oh yes, the wedding day….but they both say they are not getting married, so let’s skip that thought for now.
It’s like parenting is really over, done and dusted. We finished our task, or is it really? Parenting grownups, when does it stop and when does the worrying stop?
My almost 23-year-old, is studying in Cape Town so he only comes home for the long holidays of course I worry about him all the time, what he’s eating, how late he eats and how late he goes to bed, how he separates his washing etc.
But it’s the small one, the one that lives at home, that worries me the most. He gets frustrated with me and my constant messaging, but I just like to know when he arrives somewhere and when he’s leaving so I know he’s safe. I have this need to check up on him all the time.
I think adult children still need that ceaseless looking after. But I am beginning to see my children in a new way; they are good capable young people. I have to recognise their differences and respect that, they have grown into two very different individuals.
I try to share some of my wisdom, if you can call it that, don’t even know if they see it as wisdom or advice or things I know or just ‘stuff she says’.
Whatever their age I still feel I need to worry, I need to talk and I need to pray. I don’t think this is a mother of sons’ syndrome it’s just normal mother behavior. In learning to let go I have to learn to surrender them to God. It’s not really up to me anymore, and this is so hard for me to say and admit.
“With man this is impossible, but not with God; all things are possible with God.”